Surviving The 1st Trimester





 

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Hello beauties! Guess what? I survived the 1st trimester! If you’ve ever been pregnant, you know that this is one of the toughest trimesters. Many women aren’t honest with each other about their feelings, experiences, and struggles during the absolute most vulnerable and scary time in their journey through motherhood. I’m am not one of those women, grab some popcorn & enjoy the ride, here’s my 1st trimester story.

Picture a wild night out with your girlfriends, & somehow you end up taking one too many vice bombs. How you wake up the next day, that is exactly how your entire 1st trimester feels. LOL! Hungover for an entire 3 months! But the jokes on you because you didn’t even party. The never ending nausea & vomiting was terrible. I wish I can say it was just in the morning, but nope! All day! They say: make sure you’re always eating, have crackers, something sour works, ginger ale will be your best friend…none of that worked for me. I couldn’t eat because of nausea, & I was nauseas because I couldn’t eat- the irony! What did work for a little was taking my prenatals just before bed with an extra dose of vitamin b. That only alleviated the morning sickness, after a few hours the nausea would strike again for the rest of the day though. One day I was driving to the grocery store & had to stop the car in the middle of the street because I puked in my hand. It sounds terrible, but it meant my baby was growing strong & healthy, so I took it like a champ! S/he will hear all about this!

Why didn’t anyone tell me I wouldn’t ever poop? & when you do it’s as if you were dropping rocks. So very painful! I had to take extra fiber just to use the bathroom at least every 2 days. & I dreaded every moment that I had to. Blame that for all of the bloating! 

Ohhh, the breast tenderness! How I wish my boobs were much smaller. Getting up in the morning & letting gravity take over was hell! I literally would hold them up & slowly release them as they got easier to drop. Showering (if you have as great water pressure as I do), I couldn’t even let the water hit them directly. LOL! I had to splash myself. Bralette’s with a bit of support will be your “breast friend!” Step aside, cute regular bra’s, this is no job for you! As for your nipples, remember looking at the women in National Geographic in horror? Well, welcome to their club! Your nipples have somehow doubled in size, & darkened. They’re also terribly sensitive, & not in a good way. My husband’s not getting anywhere near these for a whiiiiile!

The first trimester also comes with terrible lower back pain & cramping. Get yourself the pregnancy pillow asap, because it makes a world of difference. I would take down the couch cushions & make myself the comfiest bed on the floor. Slept there for weeks! I would also stretch A LOT! It’s an immediate relief to any pain.

I already have an issue with sinus infections; especially in the winter, thankfully I haven’t gotten any this year. A stuffy nose is another annoying pregnancy  symptom. It doesn’t help that it is winter & the air is so dry. I can’t wait to breath normal! The boogers in my nose come out the size of Puerto Rico, who knew my schnoz could hold something that big? Using a humidifier at night makes it a bit easier to sleep & steam showers as well.

Then theres the fatigue. I was always so tired & it was the last thing I could be, nannying two crazy babies. Thankfully, they were still on 2-2hr naps a day, so I got to snooze sometimes. As soon as I got home from work, I would go straight to bed. Forget cooking, I was too nauseas to do that! LOL! It’s amazing how exactly a few days after starting the 2nd trimester, I was hit with a sudden burst of energy! Bam, ready to slay pregnancy!

I neglected my poor husband! I love him sooo much, but I sure didn’t show it. LOL! Sometimes he’d want to cuddle & I was just feeling so blegh, having our arms touch was enough for me. My pregnancy pillow was getting more action than him. He was such a trooper though!

I remember saying “I’m just waiting for the beauty of pregnancy to hit…” It hits every time you get to see your baby on that ultrasound. Every time you hear that heart beating. & now, every time I feel those sweet little flutters in my belly. However tough pregnancy may be, those sweet moments make it all worth it. Mommy will take all the beatings, just to keep her baby growing strong & healthy!

Yours Truly- Yaniris

 

Pregnancy After Miscarriage




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This post is near & dear to my heart, & is quite long, but I’m quite proud of it. If miscarriage is hardly talked about, how one feels after suffering such loss, while currently being pregnant, is even more rarely talked about. “One of the least understood things about loss of any kind: that it seeps in to every corner of a person’s life, that it changes them, and that their life after their loss is a different life than before.” This couldn’t be more true, I am a different person now.

Take it back to this time last year, one of my main goals was to make 2016 my year to travel tons, before we settled down & started making some babies. I called it “last fling(s) before babies.” & that I did!  In July, right after I got back from a week in Vegas, my husband & I had an unplanned “oopsie.” Unplanned, because we were waiting until after our 1 year wedding anniversary to actually begin the baby making process. We wanted a summer baby badly; however, that oopsie resulted in one of our greatest blessings, we were going to be parents in early Spring!!! 

Sadly, that baby didn’t make it past 8 weeks. & it was the most painful loss I’ve ever experienced. We not only lost an “embryo” (like people like to call it), we lost our hopes & dreams for our baby. Their first birthday party, their first day of school, their first loose tooth, the pins on Pinterest were ready to be executed…need I go on? I lost a beautiful, magical time my husband & I had transitioned into; our best kept secret. I felt extremely misunderstood after my miscarriage, especially by people I knew that hadn’t experienced a pregnancy loss themselves. I got a lot of “reminders” that I would “have another baby”, that “it just wasn’t meant to be”, or reassurances that I would “eventually” have the family that I wanted. Then there were the ones I’m so grateful to, the ones that without having to, chose to share their own stories of their miscarriages. The ones that gave me hope! Some had a few healthy children already, some were pregnant again…those people really helped me get through a lot of the bad times. 

Thankfully, I guess you can say I got the “lighter” end of a miscarriage. It was all natural, I didn’t need to get a D&C, & the bleeding stopped a week later. By the end of that month my doctor gave me the ok to go ahead & try again, preferably, after I had gotten my period…2 months passed & still no period. Not only was I dealing with the hurt of having lost my baby, I kept getting my hopes up that maybe I had ovulated & gotten pregnant, but each negative test determined that wasn’t the case. I had anxiety because I wasn’t getting my period, & anxiety because I wasn’t getting pregnant… I had stopped drinking, started taking vitamins, but was too scared to go full-out at the gym, same for my husband; so many things, so many factors, there were times I had cramping, weird discharges; it was the toughest, most confusing time of my life. I literally spent 2 months on Baby Center’s forums just researching & asking questions. 

Fast forward to the morning of Sat, Nov 5th, after taking a pregnancy test at least once a week for about 6 weeks & getting negatives, my nipples started feeling weird, so we were excited that it was a sign I was finally having my period & that a few days after I would be ovulating! We were so ready to take on that week of ovulating like champs! LOL! Something told me to take one more pregnancy test, just in case. Imagine this (sorry for the TMI), I peed on the stick & watched that pee move into the stick & over a positive sign almost immediately! The positive sign showed right away, I didn’t even have to wait the 3 min’s. I almost passed out! LOL! I ran into the bedroom, jumped on the bed & woke my husband with the news. His response, “but how?!” LOL! Later on that day we went out & bought another, more expensive test & that confirmed the pregnancy as well.

I wish I can say it was happily ever after from there…our excitement lasted just min’s before the fear came in. First, remember that small detail that I had never gotten a period? Well, thats how doctors determine how far along you are, so we had no clue how far along into the pregnancy we were. Thankfully, I literally wrote everything down, so we were able to pin it to two possible dates of conception, until we were able to see the doctor & get confirmation. Second, we didn’t want to get too “attached” because as much as we wanted this baby, we knew miscarriage was a possibility again. For weeks I would work, then come home to lay down. I was taking it super easy, I was even afraid to fart! LOL! I would pray that everyday when I woke up to pee there would be no blood. That every pain, cramp, or weird thing that happened in there was just normal & my baby was just fine. I would tell my baby “keep growing strong & healthy for mama!” I still do! 

Finally it was our 1st doctors appointment. First thing the doctor wanted to make sure was that it wasn’t “left over pregnancy,” my heart dropped when she said that. Right away they took us into the ultrasound room. The first thing I noticed was the beautiful, strong, beating heart. My heart immediately filled with joy, & there was no denying that I had gotten way to attached to this baby! That had put this worried mama-to-be at complete ease. Oh, & we were almost  7 weeks pregnant, we were getting our summer baby! Putting our conception date at Sat, Oct 15th. A day oh so very special, because it also happened to be “Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day,” & that day my husband & I celebrated by lighting lanterns in honor of our angel baby. Crazy how things fall into place. Our angel baby sent us our rainbow baby!

Weeks later we got to hear the heartbeat & that’s when the tears came, I’m so in love with this baby & I don’t even know its sex yet! LOL! Now, we’re a week away from the 2nd trimester. I realized suddenly that pregnancy, like life, is never guaranteed.  There is no “Safe Zone,” there is only hope or fear. I have hope that I will get to meet this baby & it’s going to give me a run for my money; after all, just at just 4 weeks I found out the news, & usually it takes people longer. Oh, & did I mention the terrible nausea, vomiting, back pain, lack of sleep, constipation? But that’s a topic for another day! Hehe! Every passing milestone is a celebration, every moment is cherished! 

Beauties, don’t ever feel ashamed to talk openly about such horrors. Social media has a way of making people only paint pretty pictures, & life is not always pretty. Everyone’s blessings are different! You never know who needs words of wisdom, & a little bit of hope. Women have it hard enough! 

Yours Truly- Yaniris